The List

Alright, intarwebs. You and I hang out together lots, but I have this whole other life outside of you in your many manifestations. And there are things that I want to get done over here.

I tried not to make this a list of Things That Would Sound Good on a Life List, things like 'take bellydancing' and 'swim with dolphins' and 'go skydiving' and 'live in an orphanage' because that is not the purpose. Also, I have already done those things. I have tried scare up things that make me more of who I am, and that I would be really disappointed if I didn't do before I died.
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THE LIST!!
(to be added to at will)

1. Own a puppy.

2. Make croissants from scratch.

3. Grow enough of my own vegetables to make a salad (Caesar salad does not count).

4. Bring a meal to someone who is grieving.

5. Host a wine and cheese party.

6. Host a fondu party (that people actually show up to. Not like that time me and Robyn ate $30 worth of fruit and chocolate by ourselves because everyone cancelled).

7. Host a raclette party.

8. Tip a waitress $100.

9. Taste 1000 fruits.

10. Ring a church bell (the kind in a tower. With a rope).

11. Change a tire.

12. Do a 10k run in less than 50 minutes.

13. Read The Odyssey.

14. Read The Illiad.

15. Go to the symphony.

16. See a musical.

17. Own a fruit tree that produces fruit.

18. Make Herbed Butter Burgers from The BBQ Bible.

19. Make Jalapeno Cheese Dogs from The BBQ Bible.

20. Have a picnic involving wine and a baguette.

21. Have some babies.

22. Take those babies to Disneyland when they are old enough to appreciate it, but not too old to enjoy it.

23. Wake up with clear vision (so...have laser surgery on eyes. OR take nap with contacts in).

24. Submit a book to a publisher.

25. Attend a book-reading.

26. Read all of Entertainment Weekly's New Classics.

27. Become conversant in another language.

28. See the Northern Lights.

29. Wear more dresses.

30. Ride a horse.

31. Take ballroom dancing.

32. Go scuba diving/snorkling (but if it's snorkling, it has to be for-real snorkling where there's fishies. Not just on my own up at Cultus...with a snorkle).

33. Get (another) BA.

34. Get MA.

35. Get PhD.

36. Knit a sweater (for a baby is ok).

37. Make apple cider from scratch.

38. Attend a literary convention.

39. Meet another book-blogger In Real Life.

40. Host a Thanksgiving dinner wherein I cook the Turkey.

41. Not have cancer anymore.

42. Own a pair of Miu Miu teacup heels.  These ones:

43. Go to Prague to see Mike and Leah.

44. Be in boo's wedding.

45. Meet Lauren in real life.

46. Make bagels from scratch

47. Go to the top of a lighthouse

48. Send three surprise care packages in the mail to three different people, for non-holiday reasons.

49. Spend a day at the spa.

50. Go to the library and leave nice notes in random books.

51. Pick out a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch.

52. Visit a brewery/winery/chocolate factory (tastings must be involved).

53. Have an actual tea party with, like, tiny sandwiches and things.

54. See a drive-in movie.

55. Make a clock.

56. Go snowshoeing.

57. Get driver's license seriously how is this not on the list already.

58. Learn basic HTML

59. See a solar eclipse.

60. Eat a wild animal (like a moose or something).

61. Make 1000 pretty things.

62. Learn how to put eye make-up on properly.

63. Watch the Pride and Prejudice BBC mini-series.

64. Own a house.

65. Learn to speed read.

66. Own a venus fly trap.

67. Try deep-fried ice cream.

68. Try hot yoga.

69. Try tapas.

70. Grow my own herbs.

71. Fly a kite.

72. Skinny dip.

73. Learn how to run properly so that my knees don't hurt all the damn time.

74. Wear my hair down and curly, on the regular.

75. Meet Tim Gunn (and hug him).

76. Make a baked Alaska.

77. Do a triathalon.

78. Dogsled.

79. Decorate my house (at least a little bit) for all the major holidays.

80. Start a monthly board games night.

81. Wear a dress with tulle.

82. Hike the Grand Canyon.

83. Climb Mt Kilimanjaro

84. Learn to do a cartwheel (or break something trying).

85. Hike the West Coast Trail.

86. Attend a Canucks playoff game.

87. Visit Menabilly (the inspiration for Manderley in Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca).

88. Learn to juggle.

89. Make a soufflé.

90. Try macarons and then make them.

91. Attend a masquerade.  Or throw one.  Or crash one.  Somehow be present at fancy masquerade.

92. Go to Austin, Texas to watch the bats.

93. Visit the Winchester House.

94. See all seven wonders of the world.

95. Try turducken.

96. Make doughnuts from scratch.  The deep-fried kind, not the half-assed baked kind.

97. Pet an owl (comme ça)

98. Host a Favorite Things party

99. See Old Faithful erupt.

100. Participate in a Color Run.

101. Share a pizza with Alice.

102ff: TBD

#70: Grow my own herbs.

Meet Sir Basil the Third

and Mr Sage [deceased]

I'm never home long enough for them to not die.

#62: Learn how to put eye make-up on properly.

30 is too damn old to not know how to put my face on. So while I am still 29 (and, like, eleven and a half twelfths), boo and I went to the MAC store and got our faces did.

The gal was like, What do you need help with? And we were like, Um? Everything. But we don't want to look whorish. But we do want to look pulled together. But we don't even really know how to put foundation on, and eye make-up has always baffled me.

We look like fancy bitches.

Ricky Martin helped, btw.

#90: Try macarons and then make them.

I've always wanted to MAKE macarons because they are SO DELICATE AND PRETTY, but I've never had one, so I'd make them and then be like, I don't know. Probably?

But then Joel went to New York and brought me back two macarons from La Maison du Chocolat, which is apparently The Fanciest.

He had to transport the macarons in his glasses case, because how else do you get something like this home?

Pistachio: a weirdly good flavor for things.

Coffee: never a bad choice.

The crust is crispy like woah, and the insides! So creamy! How is a thing LIGHT and RICH at the same time?

Alas, a lonely plate.

Updated:

Strawberry-chocolate macarons!

Most of them were funny-shaped, but now I know what I'm doing and could do it again, and better.

#21: Have some babies.

One down.

Miss Eleanor Constance Loretta, 31 Dec 2011, 6 lbs 9 oz.

#60: Eat a wild animal (like a moose or something)

An elk is definitely 'like a moose or something.'

elk

moose

See?  The difference is mostly in the antlers, and you don't eat that part.

So.  Alicia is my Friend Who Is Always Doing Fun Things, Like Phoning Me As I'm Chopping Potatoes To See If I Want To Go Help Spend Her Gift Card At A Super-Fancy French Restaurant Because Her Date Got Held Up At The Border And She Has A Reservation.  And when someone calls to see if you want to go help spend a gift card, you put your potatoes in the fridge for tomorrow and you go.

Grilled elk fillets with celeriac croquette, assorted beans and beanish things, and kale, all smothered in what was basically a super-fancy bbq sauce.  I mean that in the most complimentary, least Kmart-ish way possible.  The elk, and I get that it's probably not like this outside of fancy French restaurants, was ridiculous tender.

Also, unrelatedly, a chocolate-vanilla-raspberry torte with dulce du leche and mint cream.

I'm just saying.

#32: Go scuba diving/snorkeling.

On our port day in Haiti, Joel and I signed up for a snorkeling adventure.

The boat that came to pick us up was full of young dudes and loud music, but our little group was mostly families and pregnant me.  They seemed disappointed that we weren't more excited about the free rum punch on board, and we seemed confused by their disappointment.

But the water looked like this:

Only with more fishes.  And coral.  And urchins.  But I didn't have my camera then because I was both underwater and BREATHING and trying not to freak out in the way that the body does when it realizes that it is underwater and breathing.

Caribbean waters, there is nothing quite like you for swimability.  I will snorkle in your face any time you like.