#73: Learn how to run properly so that my knees don't hurt all the damn time.

Last year my friend Alicia's friend June, who knows a thing or two about running, told me that I run too loudly.  I appreciated his input, but 'run less loudly' isn't constructive advice.

Today through a happy coincidence of events, I was at the gym later than usual and just in time for a free video gait analysis.  They video tape you while you run, play it for you in slow motion, and then explain what the problem is while you cringe.

Friends, it is physically painful to watch yourself run in slow motion, particularly if you run badly.  The first clip was of me from the mid-calf down, and all I could see was my ankles crashing towards the ground as they over-pronated.  Then the view panned back and the guy is all, See how your knees buckle inward and nearly collide with each stride?  I'm like, HOW ARE THEY NOT HITTING EACH OTHER!  Also, is that why I kick myself in the ankle all the time?

So I need new shoes that correct for my pronation, and that will Fix Everything (including but not limited to my knee pain, my hip pain, and my tendency to kick myself in the ankle).  I'm hoping it will also make me faster.

Incidentally, June was right.  I hadn't been on the treadmill for eight seconds before the guy is all, Oh yeah, we'll be able to help you out.  I'm like, Why's that?  And him, Because you are too loud.

Updated March 7, 2011

Hullo, you sexy, supportive darlings.

You are like space-shoes.